


Hollow

by Gooseberrybrains



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Drama, Drabble, M/M, post azkaban
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gooseberrybrains/pseuds/Gooseberrybrains
Summary: Remus tells him that everything has changed. That they have changed. He says that there is too much between them. Too much heartbreak and betrayal and regret.





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> So I was inspired this morning. And angsty apparently. This is partly based on the way @asktheboywholived and @sirussly on tumblr portray post Azkaban Sirius in their amazing RPs. The whole heartbroken Sirius/Remus thing really gets me. I also may have listened to Hi-lo (Hollow) by Bishop Briggs on repeat while writing this.

Remus tells him that everything has changed. That they have changed. He says that there is too much between them. Too much heartbreak and betrayal and regret. Sirius knows this to be true. But after spending twelve years trapped in his own head, it is too easy to think that it has all just been a nightmare. That now he has woken up and James and Lily are still alive. That Peter never betrayed them. That Remus was still his. It certainly hurt less to believe that. But he feels the absence of his brother like a gaping wound in his chest. And he sees the shy glances and soft smiles that Remus shares with his cousin. 

Dung tells him that he is free now. But Sirius hasn’t been free in twelve years. And he certainly isn’t free now, trapped in this house that was never a home. Not when everything has been taken from him. Not when he is constantly treated like a thing to be pitied. And really, he doesn’t know who he is anymore. Not when everything he used to define himself by is gone. But one thing he knows is he is not free. His heart is too heavy, his mind too cloudy, his body too weak. 

Dumbledore tells him not to go, not to leave his velvet prison. But Sirius has never been good at following orders. And now he is fighting. He is not sure if he is fighting for his life or for his death but he knows he hasn’t felt this alive in over a decade. He can almost imagine it’s fifteen years earlier and that James is along side him. Except when he can’t. And then he is struck. And he is falling. But Sirius smiles because now the burden is lifted from him. He meets Remus’ eyes one last time and hopes he can be free now too.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! And follow me on Tumblr @gooseberrybrains


End file.
